You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
