Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
