I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
