Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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