We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
