How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
