you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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