My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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