there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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