Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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