sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
