so explain again why im purple
no
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
