Say something about gay babies.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
