hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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