I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
