make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
