Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
