Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
