ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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