I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
