best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
