Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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