Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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