Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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