Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He? As in you personified your dick?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
