I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
