Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
