You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
