Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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