Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
