dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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