If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
