so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
