Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Found the puke drawer
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
