She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
