I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
