I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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