i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
