whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
