I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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