If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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