I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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