So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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