I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
