she was so not down for the gang bang
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
