I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
