so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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