Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
