dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
