I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
