no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
