he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
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