Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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