is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
