Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
