What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
