is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
