we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
