hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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