I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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